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Divorce Mediation
Most initial inquires come from someone who is thinking about a divorce and have made a conscious effort to explore alternatives to the traditional adversarial approach of litigation.
Some arrive here because they are already involved in a divorce, and either the Judge has ordered it mediation or after months or even years of litigation, heartache and tens of thousand of dollars spent on lawyers fees and experts, couples simply want to explore a better way and lower cost approach. We believe divorce mediation, with our family mediation specialist provides a more holistic approach to divorce.
Our process is warm and empathetic. We work hard at listening to each of you in order to understand your concerns, needs and priorities. The sessions take place in our comfortable mediation center located at 12258 Fenton Rd, in Fenton Township. Most sessions will include both of you, and your mediator. Together, we identify the issues that need to be addressed in order to make your divorce as successful as possible. Typically, these issues include the development of a parenting plan, equitable distribution and support. Couples often have additional, specific issues which will be addressed. This is done in a collaborative, calm and confidential manner. Information and documentation is exchanged in an open manner and will not be disclosed outside the mediation. We work hard to make sure that each of you makes informed decisions.
After an agreement has been reached on all relevant issues, they are memorialized in a written document called a Memorandum of Understanding (“MOU”). After each of you are satisfied that the MOU accurately sets forth all of your various agreements, it will be sent to your respective attorneys for review. The MOU then forms the basis for your Property Settlement Agreement.
While we respect the right of each individual to choose whether or not to obtain the services of an attorney to advise them along the way and to review the MOU, we recommend they do so. We maintain a list of “mediation friendly” attorneys that are available to assist our clients in this regard. We similarly maintain a list of “mediation friendly” CPA’s, appraisers, pension valuation experts and other professionals that can often be useful in resolving issues.
To start the process we require a retainer, once the mediation sessions have begun we will work on a pay as you go basis. Checks and credit cards are accepted. We generally work in one or two hour increments, and meet as often as possible to get it resolved. Our sessions are available evenings or on weekends, as well as during the work week.
1. What Is difference between Divorce Litigation and Divorce Mediation?
Most people are familiar with divorce litigation. It’s where each member of the couple hires lawyers to litigate the divorce case in an adversarial manner. Discovery is conducted, motions are made, and the case is prepared to be tried. All too often, the result of this adversarial process is financial ruin (it can easily cost tens of thousands of dollars in legal and other bills each), the squandering of whatever good will and affection that once existed between the litigants, and most tragically of all, children and other family members are caught in the middle.
The fact is, however, that the vast majority (over 90%) of litigated divorces settle. Those settlements often come too late – after life savings have been wiped out in litigation costs, after the remaining good will and respect each party had for the other has been squandered, and after the children or friends have been damaged in the crossfire.
At TheMediationProfessionals we view divorce mediation as a sensible alternative to costly divorce litigation. It is a means of getting divorced without ruining your lives. Our process is called facilitative mediation , a neutral mediator will assist the couple to identify the necessary issues that need to be addressed and to help them create reasonable solutions that work well for them and their lives.
Unlike divorce litigation, divorce mediation is non-adversarial. It means that one party will not “win” and one party will not “lose”. It involves the participants viewing themselves and each other not as adversaries or combatants, and instead focuses their efforts on finding workable solutions to their problems and needs.
2. Is There a Down Side to Divorce Mediation?
No. We bill on an hourly, pay as you go basis. If either of you doesn’t wish to continue, you simply stop coming. There is no contract, and no ongoing financial obligation hanging over your head. You can pay by credit card if you like.
People are sometimes also concerned that by starting divorce mediation, they are giving up their right to litigate their divorce. This is not true. If either of you does not wish to continue mediation, you can pursue divorce litigation. This tends not to happen however. The vast majority of couples that begin mediation with us, complete the process and obtain their divorce through the mediation process.
3. What Gets Discussed In Divorce Mediation?
We cover the same topics that would be covered in a litigated divorce. If there are minor children, we discuss parenting schedules, parenting plans, child support and related issues. We discuss how to distribute both the financial assets and financial liabilities of the couple – e.g., what happens to the house, the cars, the Visa bill. This is called equitable distribution. We discuss whether spousal support (also referred to as alimony) is warranted, and if so, the nature, type and amount.
Each couple is different. One of the advantages of mediating your divorce is that we take the time to understand your unique situation and your unique needs, wants and concerns. We take the time to craft a divorce that is mutually agreed upon.
4. What’s The Difference Between a Mediator and an Arbitrator?
We are mediators, not arbitrators. We start from the premise that each individual and each couple is unique. We listen carefully to help identify each member of the couples concerns, issues and priorities and try to develop creative yet practical solutions that will translate these into a divorce that works well for the couple.
5. What’s the Best Way to Select a Divorce Mediator?
Use the same common sense and due diligence that you would when hiring any professional.
Things to take into account include the mediator’s experience, education and professional background. The mediator should also have significant training in divorce mediation, and be a member of professional mediation organizations. Most of all, the mediator you select should be someone you feel that you will be able to talk to openly and honestly and who will do the same with you.
6. Does Mediation Work in Every Divorce Case?
Mediation works very effectively in most, but not all divorces. Mediation gets rid of the intermediaries and gets the couple talking, in a structured, safe environment, directly to one another. It stops the aggression, couples talk to each other, perhaps for the first time in a long time.
Surprisingly to many people, mediation does work well in cases where one or both parties are very angry. Why? The alternative to litigation – costly divorce litigation done through lawyers – tends to increase the anger, the bitterness, the threats, etc. Mediation tends to suppress these emotions.
Divorce mediation will not work in situations where one or both of the couple are hiding assets or won’t provide requested documentation regarding assets or liabilities; where a member of the couple is unable or unwilling to articulate his or her wants or needs; where a member of the couple is unable or unwilling to make a decision, or where there is ongoing violence.
7. How long will it take and what will it cost?
How long the mediation of divorce will take depends upon you, your schedule, the complexity of your situation and the level of agreement or disagreement that exists between the two of you.
For example, a couple that has considerable financial assets, such as a home, stocks, and other assets will have more things to consider than a couple that rents an apartment and has little, if any savings or other assets. A couple that has several young children will have many more things to consider and more decisions to make than will a couple without children. A couple with good communication skills that comes into mediation with a high degree of agreement on issues will require substantially less mediation time than a couple that hasn’t discussed such issues before the mediation.
The length of our sessions is tailored to you and your schedule. We generally work in one or two hour sessions, but can do longer sessions where necessary or appropriate and generally meet every other week. We have evening and weekend appointments available, and can work around your schedule. Payment by credit card, as well as by check, is accepted.
8. Does the Mediator Prepare the Divorce Papers?
No. the same person cannot act both as your mediator and as your attorney. You need two separate professionals.
The end product of divorce mediation at is a detailed document that sets forth in writing all the various points of agreement that were reached by you along the way. It called a Memorandum of Understanding. Both of you would give this document to your attorney, and your attorney would prepare the necessary paper work to file your case with the courts.
Clients are sometimes concerned that having to use a lawyer in addition to the mediator will be more expensive than just using a lawyer to handle the whole divorce. Using a divorce mediator to help you and your spouse reach agreement on the terms of your divorce eliminates over 90% of the work that is normally done by divorce attorneys in the litigation process, and is done at substantially less cost. The attorney role is reduced to a very narrow one: reviewing the MOU, drawing the legal papers, and appearing with you in court, if necessary, for a very brief appearance to put the divorce through.
It is important that the attorney that you choose for this limited function is a “mediation-friendly” attorney, that will not try to undo the work that you and your spouse did in mediation in order to “sell you” on expensive, protracted litigation. We maintain a list of qualified, cost-effective “mediation-friendly” attorneys for this purpose as a service to our clients.
9. Do We Have To Use an Attorney to Put Our Divorce Through Court?
No. Many people file for divorce without using a lawyer, using forms and other information they find online, in the public library or elsewhere. There are savings with this approach as well as costs. The savings include the amount you would have paid an attorney to review the MOU, to answer any questions you might have, to prepare the Complaint and the accompanying paperwork, and to appear with you in Court to “put the divorce through.” The cost of not having an attorney is potentially much greater than the savings. Most clients feel it is worthwhile to have an attorney to whom they can direct their legal questions about the divorce, to review the MOU, to prepare the necessary paperwork and to guide them through the Court appearance.
While we respects each person’s choice in this regard, it is our belief that the use of “mediation-friendly” attorneys enables clients to strike a balance between having the cost-savings that a mediated divorce provides with the protection that a qualified attorney offers.
10. Will We Have To Appear In Court?
In most counties, an appearance will be necessary by the person who files for the divorce. The other spouse is not required to appear, personally – and can instead be represented by an attorney. We recommend that both parties appear in Court, however, so that if there are any questions that arise, they can be addressed without adding delay to the process.
11. How Much Child Support Will I Have To Pay?
Most people are not surprised to learn that the law requires parents to support their children, regardless or whether or not the parents are married to one another.
The State of Michigan has developed Child Support Guidelines to assist lawyers, Judges and the public in determining a minimum child support amount for families of a given size and income level. Many couples find understanding and applying the Child Support Guidelines to their situation difficult. Through the use of specialized computer programs, is able to assist its clients in demystifying the Guidelines and in understanding how they might apply to their situation.
The Internet offers several free Child Support Guideline calculators.
12. Will I Have To Pay Alimony?
“Alimony” is now called “Spousal Support.”
We work with each couple to explore their attitudes and opinions regarding the issue of spousal support, and where appropriate, help them reach agreement on the type, duration and amount of spousal support that works for them.
13. Do We Have To State Specific Reasons For Getting Divorced?
No, Michigan is a no fault state
14. We Have Already Agreed On Everything. Do We Still Need a Mediator?
In general, the more a couple have agreed upon before sitting down with a mediator, the faster (and less expensive) the mediation process will be.
In working with couples that have “worked it all out” between themselves prior to their initial appointment, we devote our time and effort to making sure that all the necessary details have been thought through.
15. Can Mediation Help Us Before We Get Divorced?
Absolutely! One of the things we often do is help a couple agree upon “ground rules” they will both abide by prior to their divorce being finalized or while they are separated. Such “ground rules” can even be developed to address situations where the couple is deciding if they wish to get divorced. These interim agreements can address parenting schedules with the children, rules regarding conduct while with the children, the payment of joint bills, the sale of assets, the payment of professional fees such as attorneys and mediators and any other issue that is important to or relevant to the individuals and their circumstances.
16. Can Mediation Help Us After We Get Divorced?
Yes! Although couples who mediate their divorce tend to have less serious disagreements than those who have been through contentious divorce litigation with each other, disagreements can arise after divorce. A standard provision we incorporate into our MOU’s is that the couple will meet in good faith to try to work out their disagreements directly with one another, before going to Court. Further, if that fails, they will attempt to resolve the issue through mediation before going to Court. Please note that even if you litigated your divorce, you can still mediate any post-divorce disagreements..
17. We’re Not Married, But We Want Help Splitting Up. Can mediation help Us?
Yes. Regardless of whether you are married to each other or not, we can assist you in identifying the important issues involved with splitting up. We can help you address each of the issues involved, from parenting issues to financial issues. Non-traditional families and couples are warmly welcomed and are assured of a safe, friendly and confidential environment within which their needs and concerns can be discussed and resolved.
18. We’ve Already Started To Litigate Our Divorce. Can we still go to mediation?
Yes. Many of our clients come to us after they’ve been in litigation. We help them to put the litigation on hold while they explore whether resolution is possible through mediation. They come to us from litigation for different reasons. Some didn’t know about the sensible alternative to divorce litigation that we provide. Some are simply looking for a better alternative to the thousands of dollars in monthly bills from their divorce attorneys with the end nowhere in sight. We are often able to help a couple reach agreement on the terms of their divorce in a couple of months after a couple of years of litigation has failed to do so.
Splitting up can be done without destroying you and your bank account. But if you rush and make bad decisions, the costs can wipe you both out.
In our world today most divorces are nasty, destructive, and take a long time to get done; Not to mention the expense. Best estimates place the average cost of a divorce in the United States to be in the $15,000 to $30,000 range. Where does all that money go?
The majority of the expense goes straight to the attorneys, they gather information, negotiate, counsel, and communicate on your behalf. Matrimonial law work is currently a staggering 28 billion dollar a year industry. Court fees can also add a hefty sum to your divorce bill; a mere two-day trial can set you back as much as $25,000. If you're stuck in traditional divorce proceedings, where each party has hired a lawyer to represent them in a court battle, there is not much you can do to reduce your legal bill.
However, if you're looking to reduce those costs and craft your own outcomes, you've got a few alternatives.
The simplest – and most cost effective -- way of handling divorce proceedings is to do all the negotiating and paperwork on your own. Web sites like Divorce.com, and DivorceOnline.com, offer an array of information and services to assist you, from legal forms to downloadable divorce kits. If your finances are simple, you don't have any shared debt, and you and your spouse can reach an agreement on custody of the pets, this may be an attractive option. It will generally run you between $50 and $250 plus filing and court costs, but remember you do not have anyone looking out for your individual needs.
For more typical divorces, mediation is another option. The couple hires a qualified mediator trained in conflict resolution and divorce mediation to facilitate their negotiations. A mediator can advise the couple on the process and has the training and expertise to help the couple work through issues, but does not give legal advice. The mediation process is collaborative. Both you and your spouse may hire lawyers, but they will be committed to resolving your differences through mediation, without resorting to any form of litigation, simply they will be in place to review your settlement. It changes the role of a lawyer from surrogate to adviser. So how does mediation reduce your divorce bill? It reduces your billable hours. You and your spouse shoulder the burden of gathering and sharing information yourselves, and while your mediator's hourly rates may not be less expensive than those of your attorney, you'll spend far less money making self directed decisions for your future.
Some arrive here because they are already involved in a divorce, and either the Judge has ordered it mediation or after months or even years of litigation, heartache and tens of thousand of dollars spent on lawyers fees and experts, couples simply want to explore a better way and lower cost approach. We believe divorce mediation, with our family mediation specialist provides a more holistic approach to divorce.
Our process is warm and empathetic. We work hard at listening to each of you in order to understand your concerns, needs and priorities. The sessions take place in our comfortable mediation center located at 12258 Fenton Rd, in Fenton Township. Most sessions will include both of you, and your mediator. Together, we identify the issues that need to be addressed in order to make your divorce as successful as possible. Typically, these issues include the development of a parenting plan, equitable distribution and support. Couples often have additional, specific issues which will be addressed. This is done in a collaborative, calm and confidential manner. Information and documentation is exchanged in an open manner and will not be disclosed outside the mediation. We work hard to make sure that each of you makes informed decisions.
After an agreement has been reached on all relevant issues, they are memorialized in a written document called a Memorandum of Understanding (“MOU”). After each of you are satisfied that the MOU accurately sets forth all of your various agreements, it will be sent to your respective attorneys for review. The MOU then forms the basis for your Property Settlement Agreement.
While we respect the right of each individual to choose whether or not to obtain the services of an attorney to advise them along the way and to review the MOU, we recommend they do so. We maintain a list of “mediation friendly” attorneys that are available to assist our clients in this regard. We similarly maintain a list of “mediation friendly” CPA’s, appraisers, pension valuation experts and other professionals that can often be useful in resolving issues.
To start the process we require a retainer, once the mediation sessions have begun we will work on a pay as you go basis. Checks and credit cards are accepted. We generally work in one or two hour increments, and meet as often as possible to get it resolved. Our sessions are available evenings or on weekends, as well as during the work week.
1. What Is difference between Divorce Litigation and Divorce Mediation?
Most people are familiar with divorce litigation. It’s where each member of the couple hires lawyers to litigate the divorce case in an adversarial manner. Discovery is conducted, motions are made, and the case is prepared to be tried. All too often, the result of this adversarial process is financial ruin (it can easily cost tens of thousands of dollars in legal and other bills each), the squandering of whatever good will and affection that once existed between the litigants, and most tragically of all, children and other family members are caught in the middle.
The fact is, however, that the vast majority (over 90%) of litigated divorces settle. Those settlements often come too late – after life savings have been wiped out in litigation costs, after the remaining good will and respect each party had for the other has been squandered, and after the children or friends have been damaged in the crossfire.
At TheMediationProfessionals we view divorce mediation as a sensible alternative to costly divorce litigation. It is a means of getting divorced without ruining your lives. Our process is called facilitative mediation , a neutral mediator will assist the couple to identify the necessary issues that need to be addressed and to help them create reasonable solutions that work well for them and their lives.
Unlike divorce litigation, divorce mediation is non-adversarial. It means that one party will not “win” and one party will not “lose”. It involves the participants viewing themselves and each other not as adversaries or combatants, and instead focuses their efforts on finding workable solutions to their problems and needs.
2. Is There a Down Side to Divorce Mediation?
No. We bill on an hourly, pay as you go basis. If either of you doesn’t wish to continue, you simply stop coming. There is no contract, and no ongoing financial obligation hanging over your head. You can pay by credit card if you like.
People are sometimes also concerned that by starting divorce mediation, they are giving up their right to litigate their divorce. This is not true. If either of you does not wish to continue mediation, you can pursue divorce litigation. This tends not to happen however. The vast majority of couples that begin mediation with us, complete the process and obtain their divorce through the mediation process.
3. What Gets Discussed In Divorce Mediation?
We cover the same topics that would be covered in a litigated divorce. If there are minor children, we discuss parenting schedules, parenting plans, child support and related issues. We discuss how to distribute both the financial assets and financial liabilities of the couple – e.g., what happens to the house, the cars, the Visa bill. This is called equitable distribution. We discuss whether spousal support (also referred to as alimony) is warranted, and if so, the nature, type and amount.
Each couple is different. One of the advantages of mediating your divorce is that we take the time to understand your unique situation and your unique needs, wants and concerns. We take the time to craft a divorce that is mutually agreed upon.
4. What’s The Difference Between a Mediator and an Arbitrator?
We are mediators, not arbitrators. We start from the premise that each individual and each couple is unique. We listen carefully to help identify each member of the couples concerns, issues and priorities and try to develop creative yet practical solutions that will translate these into a divorce that works well for the couple.
5. What’s the Best Way to Select a Divorce Mediator?
Use the same common sense and due diligence that you would when hiring any professional.
Things to take into account include the mediator’s experience, education and professional background. The mediator should also have significant training in divorce mediation, and be a member of professional mediation organizations. Most of all, the mediator you select should be someone you feel that you will be able to talk to openly and honestly and who will do the same with you.
6. Does Mediation Work in Every Divorce Case?
Mediation works very effectively in most, but not all divorces. Mediation gets rid of the intermediaries and gets the couple talking, in a structured, safe environment, directly to one another. It stops the aggression, couples talk to each other, perhaps for the first time in a long time.
Surprisingly to many people, mediation does work well in cases where one or both parties are very angry. Why? The alternative to litigation – costly divorce litigation done through lawyers – tends to increase the anger, the bitterness, the threats, etc. Mediation tends to suppress these emotions.
Divorce mediation will not work in situations where one or both of the couple are hiding assets or won’t provide requested documentation regarding assets or liabilities; where a member of the couple is unable or unwilling to articulate his or her wants or needs; where a member of the couple is unable or unwilling to make a decision, or where there is ongoing violence.
7. How long will it take and what will it cost?
How long the mediation of divorce will take depends upon you, your schedule, the complexity of your situation and the level of agreement or disagreement that exists between the two of you.
For example, a couple that has considerable financial assets, such as a home, stocks, and other assets will have more things to consider than a couple that rents an apartment and has little, if any savings or other assets. A couple that has several young children will have many more things to consider and more decisions to make than will a couple without children. A couple with good communication skills that comes into mediation with a high degree of agreement on issues will require substantially less mediation time than a couple that hasn’t discussed such issues before the mediation.
The length of our sessions is tailored to you and your schedule. We generally work in one or two hour sessions, but can do longer sessions where necessary or appropriate and generally meet every other week. We have evening and weekend appointments available, and can work around your schedule. Payment by credit card, as well as by check, is accepted.
8. Does the Mediator Prepare the Divorce Papers?
No. the same person cannot act both as your mediator and as your attorney. You need two separate professionals.
The end product of divorce mediation at is a detailed document that sets forth in writing all the various points of agreement that were reached by you along the way. It called a Memorandum of Understanding. Both of you would give this document to your attorney, and your attorney would prepare the necessary paper work to file your case with the courts.
Clients are sometimes concerned that having to use a lawyer in addition to the mediator will be more expensive than just using a lawyer to handle the whole divorce. Using a divorce mediator to help you and your spouse reach agreement on the terms of your divorce eliminates over 90% of the work that is normally done by divorce attorneys in the litigation process, and is done at substantially less cost. The attorney role is reduced to a very narrow one: reviewing the MOU, drawing the legal papers, and appearing with you in court, if necessary, for a very brief appearance to put the divorce through.
It is important that the attorney that you choose for this limited function is a “mediation-friendly” attorney, that will not try to undo the work that you and your spouse did in mediation in order to “sell you” on expensive, protracted litigation. We maintain a list of qualified, cost-effective “mediation-friendly” attorneys for this purpose as a service to our clients.
9. Do We Have To Use an Attorney to Put Our Divorce Through Court?
No. Many people file for divorce without using a lawyer, using forms and other information they find online, in the public library or elsewhere. There are savings with this approach as well as costs. The savings include the amount you would have paid an attorney to review the MOU, to answer any questions you might have, to prepare the Complaint and the accompanying paperwork, and to appear with you in Court to “put the divorce through.” The cost of not having an attorney is potentially much greater than the savings. Most clients feel it is worthwhile to have an attorney to whom they can direct their legal questions about the divorce, to review the MOU, to prepare the necessary paperwork and to guide them through the Court appearance.
While we respects each person’s choice in this regard, it is our belief that the use of “mediation-friendly” attorneys enables clients to strike a balance between having the cost-savings that a mediated divorce provides with the protection that a qualified attorney offers.
10. Will We Have To Appear In Court?
In most counties, an appearance will be necessary by the person who files for the divorce. The other spouse is not required to appear, personally – and can instead be represented by an attorney. We recommend that both parties appear in Court, however, so that if there are any questions that arise, they can be addressed without adding delay to the process.
11. How Much Child Support Will I Have To Pay?
Most people are not surprised to learn that the law requires parents to support their children, regardless or whether or not the parents are married to one another.
The State of Michigan has developed Child Support Guidelines to assist lawyers, Judges and the public in determining a minimum child support amount for families of a given size and income level. Many couples find understanding and applying the Child Support Guidelines to their situation difficult. Through the use of specialized computer programs, is able to assist its clients in demystifying the Guidelines and in understanding how they might apply to their situation.
The Internet offers several free Child Support Guideline calculators.
12. Will I Have To Pay Alimony?
“Alimony” is now called “Spousal Support.”
We work with each couple to explore their attitudes and opinions regarding the issue of spousal support, and where appropriate, help them reach agreement on the type, duration and amount of spousal support that works for them.
13. Do We Have To State Specific Reasons For Getting Divorced?
No, Michigan is a no fault state
14. We Have Already Agreed On Everything. Do We Still Need a Mediator?
In general, the more a couple have agreed upon before sitting down with a mediator, the faster (and less expensive) the mediation process will be.
In working with couples that have “worked it all out” between themselves prior to their initial appointment, we devote our time and effort to making sure that all the necessary details have been thought through.
15. Can Mediation Help Us Before We Get Divorced?
Absolutely! One of the things we often do is help a couple agree upon “ground rules” they will both abide by prior to their divorce being finalized or while they are separated. Such “ground rules” can even be developed to address situations where the couple is deciding if they wish to get divorced. These interim agreements can address parenting schedules with the children, rules regarding conduct while with the children, the payment of joint bills, the sale of assets, the payment of professional fees such as attorneys and mediators and any other issue that is important to or relevant to the individuals and their circumstances.
16. Can Mediation Help Us After We Get Divorced?
Yes! Although couples who mediate their divorce tend to have less serious disagreements than those who have been through contentious divorce litigation with each other, disagreements can arise after divorce. A standard provision we incorporate into our MOU’s is that the couple will meet in good faith to try to work out their disagreements directly with one another, before going to Court. Further, if that fails, they will attempt to resolve the issue through mediation before going to Court. Please note that even if you litigated your divorce, you can still mediate any post-divorce disagreements..
17. We’re Not Married, But We Want Help Splitting Up. Can mediation help Us?
Yes. Regardless of whether you are married to each other or not, we can assist you in identifying the important issues involved with splitting up. We can help you address each of the issues involved, from parenting issues to financial issues. Non-traditional families and couples are warmly welcomed and are assured of a safe, friendly and confidential environment within which their needs and concerns can be discussed and resolved.
18. We’ve Already Started To Litigate Our Divorce. Can we still go to mediation?
Yes. Many of our clients come to us after they’ve been in litigation. We help them to put the litigation on hold while they explore whether resolution is possible through mediation. They come to us from litigation for different reasons. Some didn’t know about the sensible alternative to divorce litigation that we provide. Some are simply looking for a better alternative to the thousands of dollars in monthly bills from their divorce attorneys with the end nowhere in sight. We are often able to help a couple reach agreement on the terms of their divorce in a couple of months after a couple of years of litigation has failed to do so.
Splitting up can be done without destroying you and your bank account. But if you rush and make bad decisions, the costs can wipe you both out.
In our world today most divorces are nasty, destructive, and take a long time to get done; Not to mention the expense. Best estimates place the average cost of a divorce in the United States to be in the $15,000 to $30,000 range. Where does all that money go?
The majority of the expense goes straight to the attorneys, they gather information, negotiate, counsel, and communicate on your behalf. Matrimonial law work is currently a staggering 28 billion dollar a year industry. Court fees can also add a hefty sum to your divorce bill; a mere two-day trial can set you back as much as $25,000. If you're stuck in traditional divorce proceedings, where each party has hired a lawyer to represent them in a court battle, there is not much you can do to reduce your legal bill.
However, if you're looking to reduce those costs and craft your own outcomes, you've got a few alternatives.
The simplest – and most cost effective -- way of handling divorce proceedings is to do all the negotiating and paperwork on your own. Web sites like Divorce.com, and DivorceOnline.com, offer an array of information and services to assist you, from legal forms to downloadable divorce kits. If your finances are simple, you don't have any shared debt, and you and your spouse can reach an agreement on custody of the pets, this may be an attractive option. It will generally run you between $50 and $250 plus filing and court costs, but remember you do not have anyone looking out for your individual needs.
For more typical divorces, mediation is another option. The couple hires a qualified mediator trained in conflict resolution and divorce mediation to facilitate their negotiations. A mediator can advise the couple on the process and has the training and expertise to help the couple work through issues, but does not give legal advice. The mediation process is collaborative. Both you and your spouse may hire lawyers, but they will be committed to resolving your differences through mediation, without resorting to any form of litigation, simply they will be in place to review your settlement. It changes the role of a lawyer from surrogate to adviser. So how does mediation reduce your divorce bill? It reduces your billable hours. You and your spouse shoulder the burden of gathering and sharing information yourselves, and while your mediator's hourly rates may not be less expensive than those of your attorney, you'll spend far less money making self directed decisions for your future.