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What does it take to be a good mediator?
A good mediator must be impartial and a skilled listener. Listening might appear to some a trivial skill that everyone has, but this is not the case. Successful major multi-national companies spend significant amounts of time training their people in listening skills: these involve actively focusing on what the other person is saying, asking probing questions to elicit further information, and paraphrasing what the other person has said in order to make sure it has been heard correctly. Few people are naturally skilled listeners and most people improve significantly with training and practice.
Business experience and knowledge of the industry in which the parties are active are very helpful. They ensure that the mediator speaks the same language as the parties and will be perceived by the parties as being worth listening to.Knowledge of facilitation, negotiation, and mediation techniques are also helpful, as is experience in decomposing problems, summarizing positions, and knowing when to call for breaks in the
discussions.
The ability to imagine new shapes for a compromise is critical. Suppose that two people are having difficulty deciding how to divide the top of a table between themselves. An imaginative mediator might point out that perhaps they should consider how to divide the legs of the table also, and it may turn out that one party has a clear preference for the legs, and is willing to let the other party have more of the top in exchange for the
legs.
Last, but probably most important, is the seemingly obvious point that a person must be willing to act as a mediator. Anyone who has acted in this capacity well knows that it is a high stress, intensive activity / extremely rewarding when a compromise is reached, but extremely frustrating when dead-ends seem to be in sight. Nerve-wracking negotiating sessions, individual caucuses, or pauses; and sleepless nights are by no means uncommon. Acting as a mediator requires real courage, self-confidence, and stamina.
Business experience and knowledge of the industry in which the parties are active are very helpful. They ensure that the mediator speaks the same language as the parties and will be perceived by the parties as being worth listening to.Knowledge of facilitation, negotiation, and mediation techniques are also helpful, as is experience in decomposing problems, summarizing positions, and knowing when to call for breaks in the
discussions.
The ability to imagine new shapes for a compromise is critical. Suppose that two people are having difficulty deciding how to divide the top of a table between themselves. An imaginative mediator might point out that perhaps they should consider how to divide the legs of the table also, and it may turn out that one party has a clear preference for the legs, and is willing to let the other party have more of the top in exchange for the
legs.
Last, but probably most important, is the seemingly obvious point that a person must be willing to act as a mediator. Anyone who has acted in this capacity well knows that it is a high stress, intensive activity / extremely rewarding when a compromise is reached, but extremely frustrating when dead-ends seem to be in sight. Nerve-wracking negotiating sessions, individual caucuses, or pauses; and sleepless nights are by no means uncommon. Acting as a mediator requires real courage, self-confidence, and stamina.
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• General Law for Non Attorney Mediators
• Domestic Relations Mediation
• Domestic Violence Screening Protocol
• Arbitration
• Master Conflict Resolution Specialist